Clowns of the Year: Bury the Hatchet
by glitterdust
Summary: They are the contenders in their own game fo life. When their adventures snowball into disasters. When oddities try to ruin them. Known as the marauders, they fight for each other, like brothers, united as one. ! 1st ch. are slow!
1. PROLOGUE

Gosh: I have an appallingly dreadful headache. But I guess it is my fault as I'm the one who ran into my bedpost...accidentally of course! Do you like it to be double-spaced? This prologue is really choppy, and it jumps from one subject to the next. Sorry about that. I will try to make the next chapter be not so..so..well, you know... But anyway kudos for you..you have continued on. So I will, too...  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_**_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
Prologue: Odds and Ends of Peter Stubbe  
  
"NOOOO!!!" Her voice rang through the woods echoing in the trunks of every hollow tree, ringing alarm in all the little creatures of the forest's ears. Leaves scattered at the waves the cacophonous sound made while minikinlies swung from treetop to treetop. After the millions of repeated voices died down, silence was upon all.  
  
Well almost all. If you didn't count the mumbled sobs that were faintly heard and if you didn't listen close enough, to hear the little minikinly shouting protest against the disruption of their post-full moon ceremonies.  
  
Yep.  
  
It was that time of the month.  
  
Their time of the month.  
  
She turned abruptly around, evidently nervous regarding the outcome of her diabolical night. Lying beside her was a boy. Only 5 or 6 years of age. Out cold on the rotting soil of the forest floor where blood lay unperceived all around him. Her sobs grew louder, no longer silent. She was freely crying now, over the loss of a stranger. Her conscience weighed with self-condemnation. "What have I done? What have I done?"  
  
When the words were swept out of her mind, she ensconced on the dirt and cradled the young boy, aware of the time, aware of the chilliness of the wee hours of the morning, but unaware of the twitching in the boy's eyebrow.  
  
She did, however, notice when his eyes sprang to life, suddenly, bouncing around to see the atmosphere in which he lay. What happened? Echoed through his mind as he recalled the horrid events of the previous, inevitable night. Finally gaining courage, he asked the obvious, "Who are you? Where am I? Why is there blood?." His eyes grew wider when each question registered in him mind; but as his voice cracked, he could no longer voice them. The girl reassured him with a smile. An action that she knew was out of place. She replied, "Don't worry, everything will be alright," when she knew, plain as day and night, it would not. The little boy must have had credence in her as he fell into a slumber again lasting only a few hours more... *_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_  
  
Prologue: Continued (lol.don't have a name for this.)  
  
Remus lay awake on his bed, his blue eyes searching the canopy above him. How could he dream this? Must he wake up to this nightmare every night? Slowly but smoothly closing his eyes, he slipped into sleep dreaming of Hogwarts and what it would be like, if he would ever get accepted. Which is highly unlikely, from the way things are erupting.for the worse.  
  
The next morning, upon waking up, he hastily got dressed, grabbed his schoolbooks and headed to the dinning room, where his mother would teach him basic skills in magic. Well not exactly his mother, but his guardian in the least. "Did you sleep well?" she asked.  
  
'Yes m'am."  
  
"No you didn't, I can see it in your eyes.Now sit down before it's afternoon already." Remus obeyed, while looking at the clock. 8:09. His step aunt could be so hard on him sometimes.  
  
"Now where did we leave off.. oh yes. Vow of Selorehs." She mused.  
  
"Can I get a piece of toast real quick?" interjected Remus. "Yes honey..and get the door two."  
  
DING-DONG. How did she know that was coming? Weird.  
  
"Yes, Yes. Come in sir. Please be seated."  
  
"Why thank you," the man said, his blue eyes sparkling.  
  
"Mother. Someone wants to speak with you!" Remus' voice rang through the empty halls. Shortly after, he proceeded to the kitchen to receive some toast from the servant girl, Maria Bella Laschanse. A wonderful young lady, the same a as Remus, but from Chile, South America. There was surely some magic in her blood too, as she could live in a magical household. I wonder why she doesn't attend Hogwarts.  
  
"Good morning, Maria!"  
  
"Here's your toast." How did she know I only wanted toast this morning?  
  
"Thank you very much, buenos dias."  
  
When Remus returned to the parlor, the man was gone. Strangely, so was his mother. That's weird. But..there was a note.  
  
I'll be back at 8:00 tonight. Don't do any magic. Give this note  
to Maria upon reading. And congrats Remus.  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_  
  
"No. Let's play another game here. I'm on your team."  
  
"Yes! HA! He's on my team."  
  
Lily was on her window watching the boys play air soft outside. They were really good; fast at loading, shooting, aiming. The whole works.  
  
Suddenly, Aaron, the grand master of the game, looked into the window. Lily wanted to dive into hiding instantly. She even started to slouch in the window seat in her room, where she was looking.  
  
I don't know why? It's not like it's bad that he sees me watching them play. I guess I want to keep him to myself. Not let him know I was there. Spy. No, no, no. Just be eyes from afar.  
  
Of course Lily's brother wasn't out there. He didn't have enough money to even own an air soft gun, much less an air soft rifle. If I could get enough money, I'll buy him one.for his birthday. Only 2 weeks away.  
  
But of course she could never do anything like that, for sake of honor. Or so that's how she always reassured her guilt.  
  
"Don't forget my birthday, ever again! As long as you live." And Lily hadn't. As long as she lived, she wouldn't. That's a promise.  
  
Lily forced herself to think of something else, so she wouldn't start crying. And so that's how her mind shifted to Aaron. He is so cute. Skater and everything. Even smart.for a muggle.  
  
6th year. Yep, Lily would be in her 6th year in about 3 weeks; on September 1st.  
  
Well not exactly. I'm not a 6th year until I have the knowledge and maturity of one. Lily then contradicted herself: But then again, if that were true, the marauders should only be in 2nd year.  
  
Lily obliviously scratched her head. But, she reasoned, some of their stupid pranks require 7th year knowledge, so it all balances out. Stupid marauders. Your hurting my brain!  
  
************************************************************************  
  
I guess that first part was sort of depressing.or at least for me..  
  
Maybe in the end this will all be more clarifying.  
  
Would somebody tell me how to use italics!!!!?????? This chapter is so messed up. Damn.  
  
I wish I could galvanize you into reviewing..but I think I'm stuck at my computer (when, oops, I'm supposed to be studying for a big history test tomorrow)..so therefore I must resort to just encouraging you to review..whether it be good or bad...  
  
Thank You  
  
-Andi  
  
SpiderSquirrel= thanks fro reviewing. I was having a little..well, lots..of trouble with ff.net last night, so I didn't actually put in the story. I'm sorry. 


	2. 1: Pendenciero 2: Sirius' Escapar

AN: This has a slow and long beginning, so I encourage you to just keep reading..and review!  
  
Disclaimer: I'm looking into a car, and the HP series is copyrighted by Rowling, and none of this belongs to me..don't sue.  
  
Chapter 2: Pendenciero  
  
The next month at Hogwarts, James and Sirius were in their usual routine: try-to-see-who-could-stay-up-the-longest.and prank-everyone-available- during-the-night, of course.  
  
In fourth year, they had erupted this brillant(ly stupid) idea. Why don't we turn into animals? All four of us.  
  
So after a year of researching and getting potion ingredients- not to mention the brewing time-the Marauders wanted to try to practice transforming, as they had already taken the potion, right after Remus' last transformation.  
  
All in all, the four parts had been consumed by the four of them. Now they just needed to practice the actual art of transforming.and to do it in record time. Good luck.  
  
#Flashback#  
  
The four friends gleefully entered the astronomy tower to begin practicing. It was nighttime, part of the reason the tower was picked, so the moon and stars shone- more brightly than muggles saw- down, cascading into the room. Even with the light, most places in the room were still shadowed. Which they used to their advantage just as a slim figure walked into the room.  
  
Two words: Hufflepuff girl.  
  
Peter quietly announced, "Let's leave now, she won't hear us. Not with the invisibility cloak."  
  
"Shut-up, you dumbass," James shot back, "with the four of us, a sleeping Snivellus could hear the grand exit...and what is she doing?"  
  
Peter was already looking, but Remus and Sirius turned to see her just sitting. That's all. Sitting.  
  
So much fun.  
  
Her yellow, Hufflepuff symbolic robes tumbled down her figure, illuminating the curves, just perfectly. She wasn't the skinniest in the world, but certainly not fat, either. She probably had to work to keep her figure; nothing guys knew anything about.  
  
"So.." But Remus quieted immediately because of the other people who started to trickle in.  
  
After what seemed an eternity, the astronomy professor, who gave a midnight lesson, said, "That's it my dears. Finish your homework and you may leave." Many did leave with the teacher, but a few, including the Hufflepuff, remained, examinating the stars through the Lateo Effigia Telescope.  
  
After a while, the girl was the only one left, yet again. Peter just wanted to leave, yet again. And Sirius didn't feel tired anymore, yet again.at least not with this intriguing person.  
  
Silent Footsteps.  
  
Remus' expert ears caught them so he was obliged to notify the others.  
  
"Someone is back?"  
  
"Maybe they never left."  
  
"Impossible."  
  
"Well maybe they were never here."  
  
"Possible," James looked thoughtful.  
  
The new figure emerged. The silhouettes were instantly enlightened and even a toddler would be able to tell the new arrival was male.  
  
"I didn't think you would wait for me," the man informed.  
  
"Of course, my sweet." What type of bullshit is this? My sweet. Sirius snorted, carefully, as not to be overheard.  
  
"I want to show you this," and the figure produced an object, "for you, luv."  
  
A block of wood? What was he playing at? Or more importantly, what type of beau is he? I mean look, it's a block of wood. Absolutely factious.  
  
"I can't see it properly. Not with this lighting."  
  
"Only some Latin rubbish. But without beating around the bush, if you talk into it, I can hear you on the other end," he said, obviously trying to be seductive.  
  
The girl's eyes lit up. The dark figurine wasn't done, but with the next part, you could tell he was a little wet behind the ears, "Do I deserve a kiss, m'lady?"  
  
Even with the uncertainty in his voice, she couldn't bare not saying, "Not just."  
  
It was a light kiss; eventually it was more passionate, but soon the boys felt ready to empty their stomachs, for the beau had managed to get her bra off and was enthusiastically trying to undo her pants while caressing her breasts.  
  
What a lovely site. Not.  
  
Just then, a telescope fell, (I wonder how? Cough, Marauders, cough) directing everyone's attention that way. The girl did the zipper on her pants and donned her bra. They were done and left soon after. But what neither of them knew was that during this. session. Sirius had duplicated the block of wood, and levitated the second to himself. The marauders will have fun with this!  
  
#End Flashback#  
  
*Maybe that is best. They can all thank me when I figure out this code. They can all thank me when I build something like this, but for ourselves. * Sirius was a person most girls would grow weak at the knees for. Tall. Dark. Handsome. Okay, so he was also furtive and brooding. He did have an aura about him that clearly said 'don't mess with me, missy.'  
  
In fact, most times you couldn't tell if he was innocent or not. He certainly looked the latter. But he was always thinking. Always on this toes. Always with a plan. Always.  
  
The "rubber knees girls" would never ask him out though. Fear most likely. Fear of failure. Fear of being turned down. Fear. Maybe even that this man, as he certainly wasn't a schoolboy, would hurt them. Maybe.but definitely fear. Have I made my point?  
  
Anyway, the wheels in Sirius' head turned more than usually last year. It wasn't like he needed to prove himself or anything... He just wanted to do this. For himself. For his friends. By himself. Something alone, without the Marauders behind-  
  
"Earth to Sirius!" James was presently shouting, "Where were you buddy? I thought I would have to charm ice water to attack you before you would decide to grace us with your presence, mentally."  
  
"Well, that won't be necessary." Sirius shot Peter, James, and Remus a half amused, half disgusted look..like normal.  
  
"Penny for your thoughts?" Remus reasoned.  
  
"Why won't Remus shut his damned mouth? Where's my penny?" He asked for the penny with a smirk playing across his mouth. By the stunned faces, he added exasperatly, "Just kidding!" So they released their breaths and breathed. Where were they going to find a muggle penny? Exactly. They couldn't. Not at school, at least.  
  
"Any new prank ideas, James?"  
  
"Oh yea. I'm always full of new ideas," he said with an 'almost evil' grin on his face.  
  
"I wouldn't doubt it," Sirius said with a forced chuckle.  
  
The four Marauders stayed up until 2:00 a.m. discussing the Christmas prank. This one would rock the pants off the teachers. Quite literally.  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_ Chapter 3: Sirius' Escapar  
  
Gracefully soaring above the sky, the eagle swept into the trees, scrambling all the leaves. Finally, the creature soared into the Owlery at Hogwarts. With the morning mail the eagle would deliver the letter to none other than Sirius Black.  
  
The Blacks were different. They wanted to be different. Or at least known as different. As long as they were known. So they had a black eagle for owl post. Absolutely defying the 'owl' in owl post.  
  
Everyone knew this. Just like the Blacks wanted. Most no one knew that Sirius hated eagles. No one. Probably because he was so secretive. But as the black bird flew in, the day before Christmas break, Sirius groaned.  
  
Him and his fellow Marauders had already been chastised for their prank earlier that morning. He didn't need his parents yelling at him via a letter. *Couldn't they wait until I get home? *  
  
"Ugh. Why Peter?"  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"We had planned to do the prank early. Which we did. And I didn't get any sleep by the way. *Why* did you have to drop your handkerchief?"  
  
Tough luck, Sirius, buddy.  
  
But he was speaking truthfully. They wouldn't have gotten caught if it weren't for that damn handkerchief. Wait, why did he even have one to begin with?  
  
Anyway, Sirius was pissed at Peter. He was pissed at the Teachers for catching him. Pissed at his peers for being so damn Argus-eyed of his whereabouts. Now he hated the innocent eagle flying directly to him.  
  
But I have to agree, his life sucked.  
  
"Yes! Yes!" What in the world is that about? Huh..  
  
Sirius realized he was standing and sunk into his chair before you could even say, "Loser."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"My parents told me I had to come home.as you know..but apparently now, they don't want me. I'm such a loved child." Sarcasm dripped from Sirius' last sentence, but, nonetheless, his face lit up. But he still did not so much as smirk.  
  
"You and Remus can pull pranks without me and Pete, as long as you write down what you do."  
  
See the marauders have this thing. They like to keep a record of all pranks that were performed, so no prank is done twice. Course not, 'cause that would make them look too incompetent and unimaginative.  
  
"No, not with only 50% of the gang. Absolutely not."  
  
"Come on. At least practice transforming faster. You already know that's what I'll be doing at home."  
  
"Okay."  
  
This conversation was so soft; no one at the Gryffindor table could hear them. Soon after that, they were walking back to the common room when the Hufflepuff girl that was in the astronomy tower the year before- the one they only think about when she is in their class. The one they admire from afar- came up to the group and yelled, vigorously, "That was very inconsiderate of you four. You should be ashamed of yourselves. Always vexing others. Dishonor. Dishonor to your family!"  
  
There was a pause, and then she said, "Well? What do you have to say for yourself?"  
  
Sirius' knew, immediately, that she was talking of the prank. Dishonor. She made his blood boil right under his skin. *Dishonor? How would she know the slightest about dishonor? She's a Hufflepuff! Probably just like her parents were placed in and her children will be after she has left this school.*  
  
"And you think your so incorrigible?" He shot back at her.  
  
"Twinkle-faries."  
  
Yea. I know what your thinking. Twinkle-faries? It's the password. To the Gryffindor common room.  
  
"You're a Gryffindor?" Peter blurted accidentally. He has these moments, like all people, where he doesn't think very clearly.  
  
"No. But since the four of you are so high on your pedestals, I wouldn't suppose you even knew what house I belong to. Even though I'm almost always with them..talk about self-evident truths." She murmured the last sentence.  
  
"Your barking up the wrong tree." Remus supplied for the flabbergasted other three.  
  
"Am I? Am I? I remember you coming into the common room late last night. I know what you have done to the teachers- marauding around. I'll see to it that you are adequately chastised. 50 points from Gryffindor."  
  
She turned and went to one of the girl's dormitories.  
  
"How can she do that?"  
  
"Obviously, she's a prefect. Or maybe head girl."  
  
"No, head girl is that one chick."  
  
"Well that explains a lot.that one chick."  
  
"She hates us. I think she's prejudice against Gryffindors."  
  
"And I think you are wrong. Her best friend is in Gryffindor. How else would she get the password?"  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_  
  
You like? This is mainly to SpiderSquirrel: you're the only one who reads this, anyway. lol.  
  
I put two chapters in here. Mainly cause I was bored. I won't usually though.  
  
-Glitterdust 


	3. 3: Tradiciones de Navidad

Chapter 4 (I believe): Do my homework. Type a chapter. Do my homework. Type a chapter. Such a hard decision, and based on this update..you know the result...enjoy!  
  
Christmas Traditions:  
  
At James' house for Christmas, things weren't going to smoothly.  
  
"What the frick do you think your doing?" Only Mr. Potter didn't say 'frick'.  
  
"Baking cookies." Was the lazy reply.  
  
"Why? Your mother does that..unless *you* want to be the house wife of your marriage, you don't need to know how." A little snappy there?  
  
*I do! I want to learn to cook. No, you idiot! I really want to get out of etiquette but why am I telling you this?* James didn't really say this though, he just supplied a "Fine, father."  
  
"Good now go to Lightning for your etiquette lessons."  
  
James obeyed. If he didn't, he would have more etiquette to work on than the 2 hours already in store for him. Of course, Lightning, the house elf, would have her weird ability kick in, and sense James' dread. Maybe she'll take it easy on him. Hopefully.  
  
"Take off your hat, boy."  
  
The paintings were, yet again, yelling at him.  
  
"No Pendel. That's his hair."  
  
"Then comb it. Chop to it."  
  
One painting of his great aunt chucked a brush at James. Only one problem: It hit him as a blob of paint. It didn't look like a brush at all.  
  
After getting cleaned up, James started down the hallway to his lessons. He could faintly hear his own parents yelling in the next room over.  
  
"You're the mother, you need to do this!"  
  
"Only because your one hell of a lousy father!"  
  
"All I have to do is teach him how to be tough and take him camping!" Mister potter yelling indignantly.  
  
"You've done that. Now let me do my job as his mother."  
  
*Uh-oh. About me? Why me? Why can't my parents get along? Like normal couples?*  
  
Of course James knew they could never divorce because of their pride and the marriage-bonded together as one, for all eternity. Divorce would probably be better than this though. * Now for more etiquette than I'll certainly ever use in my life.*  
  
Unconsciously, James' parents were steering him towards being more honory. The more they pushed him to work harder, the more he rebelled. James just wants to be normal. Let him. It helps more in the end.  
  
"Good afternoon, master James."  
  
"Hi Lightning. Let's just get started," James groaned.  
  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
  
At Lily's house, things were going over smoothly. Petunia and Lily were putting up decorations while Mr. Evans put up lights outside. "So Lily, how is school?"  
  
"It is great.all except for the stupid Marauders." Lily muttered the last part.  
  
But apparently, Petunia still heard, "The Marauders? What's that?" She scrunched up her nose like she smelt a rotting potato, "It's not anything like a troll is it? If it is harmful to you, I swear I'll-" But we never found out what she'd do.  
  
"No, no. Only the four cockiest boys who are so high on their pedestals. Wish they would fall." Lily said cutting her sister off, and not making a whole lot of sense.  
  
"Sounds rather bothersome."  
  
"Oh believe me, it is."  
  
"Maybe they are like that-you know ruining other peoples lives- because they don't necessarily like their own."  
  
Lily agreed, but she didn't know how close to the truth she actually was.  
  
Later that night, Lily dreamed her little brother and mother were right beside her, helping her bake cookies. In the dream, they were joking around:  
  
"Ewww.Look at these cookies.:  
  
"Let's feed them to the cat."  
  
"Depends, how much do you like the cat?"  
  
They giggled and laughed. When Lily woke up, she realized the tears streaming down her face, so she tried to stanch them with her sleeve..receiving no such luck. So she just whispered, "I miss you, Perth. Mum, I love you."  
  
*Lily wept for her brother and mother until morning. It's just me and Petunia. Me and Petunia.*  
  
After the sun had risen, Lily skipped to the kitchen, earning a look from her father as she has never been an early bird.  
  
"Sorry dad. I just want to cook breakfast today."  
  
"Like always. How do you get in all your cooking at school? Surely they say you can't."  
  
"No, of course not. I do help sometimes."  
  
"That's my girl. Always helping. Your mother used to always say, 'Get her, her cooking supplies and frozen pineapples, and she'll cook for you all you want.' And I've followed that. But I'm not really sure that she-"  
  
Lily left, realizing that her father was really talking to himself. Fighting back more tears, Lily made her way to the kitchen to make breakfast for everyone. *Egg sandwiches today. Maybe I can shape the bread into Christmas wreaths.*  
  
"Okay, who are you and what have you done with Miss Sleep-A-Lot?"  
  
"I transfigured her into breakfast." Lily, for emphasis, took a bite of her "wreath."  
  
Petunia was in a good mood this morning, "Do you want to go riding with me?"  
  
Petunia worked at a ranch where she traded working hours for riding hours. Sometimes she would invite Lily to come and ride the horses with her, for company.  
  
"Sure. Let me get my boots."  
  
And off they were.  
  
"I don't like it when you go to school," Petunia said, nudging her horse into a light trot.  
  
"Why's that?"  
  
"Your just too damn far away from dad and me."  
  
"You know, you could stay with Auntie over Easter. That's where I'll be.if you go."  
  
See, Lily lived in America, for now, as her dad was always moving because of his job, but during the school year, and some of the summer, she always stayed with her aunt, who resided in England.  
  
"Come on Misty, we're going to race Peti." Lily loudly whispered to her horse, while glancing in Petunia's direction.  
  
With that, Lily shoved her ankles into the paint horse's side and off at a canter they were. Petunia took off soon and easily beat lily.  
  
"Sorry Lil. That's only because I ride so often."  
  
Laughing and joking, they rode all morning until it was time to go home.  
  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
  
I'm tired of typing.so I'll do a really short chapter really soon. I need to go practice my speech...  
  
But first I want to thank Kinelea for the review..I hope this chapter is better than the last..sorry about the fragmented story. I'm the worst person when it comes to proofreading my own stuff.  
  
Did anyone go to the car show? If you don't know what I'm talking about.then never mind..but I, unfortunately, missed it. ( But I'm hoping school will be canceled tomorrow..then I can write more. (  
  
-Glitterdust 


	4. 4: tradiciones de navidad otras cosas

Chapter 5 (I believe): Do my homework. Type a chapter. Do my homework. Type a chapter. Such a hard decision, and based on this update..you know the result...enjoy!  
  
Christmas Traditions:  
  
At James' house for Christmas, things weren't going to smoothly.  
  
"What the frick do you think your doing?" Only Mr. Potter didn't say 'frick'.  
  
"Baking cookies." Was the lazy reply.  
  
"Why? Your mother does that..unless *you* want to be the house wife of your marriage, you don't need to know how." A little snappy there?  
  
*I do! I want to learn to cook. No, you idiot! I really want to get out of etiquette but why am I telling you this?* James didn't really say this though, he just supplied a "Fine, father."  
  
"Good now go to Lightning for your etiquette lessons," was the order.  
  
James obeyed. If he didn't, he would have more etiquette to work on than the 2 hours already in store for him. Of course, Lightning, the house elf, would have her weird ability kick in, and sense James' dread. Maybe she'll take it easy on him. Hopefully.  
  
"Take off your hat, boy."  
  
The paintings were, yet again, yelling at him.  
  
"No Pendel. That's his hair."  
  
"Then comb it. Chop to it."  
  
One painting of his great aunt chucked a brush at James. Only one problem: It hit him as a blob of paint. It didn't look like a brush at all.  
  
After getting cleaned up, James started down the hallway to his lessons. He could faintly hear his own parents yelling in the next room over.  
  
"You're the mother, you need to do this!"  
  
"Only because your one hell of a lousy father!"  
  
"All I have to do is teach him how to be tough and take him camping!" Mister potter yelling indignantly.  
  
"You've done that. Now let me do my job as his mother."  
  
*Uh-oh. About me? Why me? Why can't my parents get along? Like normal couples?*  
  
Of course James knew they could never divorce because of their pride and the marriage-bonded together as one, for all eternity. Divorce would probably be better than this though. * Now for more etiquette than I'll certainly ever use in my life.*  
  
Unconsciously, James' parents were steering him towards being more honory. The more they pushed him to work harder, the more he rebelled. James just wants to be normal. Let him. It helps more in the end.  
  
"Good afternoon, master James."  
  
"Hi Lightning. Let's just get started," James groaned.  
  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
  
At Lily's house, things were going over smoothly. Mr. Evans put up lights outside while Petunia and Lily put up decorations in the warmth of the house.  
  
"So Lily, how is school?"  
  
"It is great.all except for the stupid Marauders." Lily muttered the last part.  
  
But apparently, Petunia still heard, "The Marauders? What's that?" She scrunched up her nose like she smelt a rotting potato, "It's not anything like a troll is it? If it is harmful to you, I swear I'll-" But we never found out what she'd do.  
  
"No, no. Only the four cockiest boys who are so high on their pedestals. Wish they would fall." Lily said cutting her sister off, and not making a whole lot of sense to either one of them.  
  
"Sounds rather bothersome."  
  
"Oh believe me, it is."  
  
"Maybe they are like that-you know ruining other peoples lives- because they don't necessarily like their own."  
  
Lily agreed, but she didn't know how close to the truth she actually was.  
  
Later that night, Lily dreamed her little brother and mother were right beside her, helping her bake cookies. In the dream, they were joking around:  
  
"Ewww.Look at these cookies."  
  
"Let's feed them to the cat."  
  
"Depends, how much do you like the cat?"  
  
They giggled and laughed. When Lily woke up, she realized the tears streaming down her face, so she tried to stanch them with her sleeve..receiving no such luck. So she just whispered, "I miss you, Perth. Mum, I love you."  
  
*Lily wept for her brother and mother until morning. It's just me and Petunia. Me and Petunia.*  
  
After the sun had risen, Lily skipped to the kitchen, earning a look from her dad as she has never been an early bird.  
  
"Sorry dad. I just want to cook breakfast today."  
  
"Like always. How do you get in all your cooking at school? Surely they say you can't."  
  
"No, of course not. I do help sometimes."  
  
"That's my girl. Always helping. Your mother used to always say, 'Get her, her cooking supplies and frozen pineapples, and she'll cook for you all you want.' And I've followed that. But I'm not really sure that she-"  
  
Lily left, realizing that her father was really talking to himself. *Why is everyone bringing up mom and Perth?* Fighting back more tears, Lily made her way to the kitchen to make breakfast for everyone. *Egg sandwiches today. Maybe I can shape the bread into Christmas wreaths...*  
  
"Okay, who are you and what have you done with Miss Sleep-A-Lot?"  
  
"I transfigured her into breakfast." Lily, for emphasis, took a bite of her "wreath."  
  
Petunia was in a good mood this morning, "Do you want to go riding with me?"  
  
Petunia worked at a ranch where she traded working hours for riding hours. Sometimes she would invite Lily to come and ride the horses with her, for company.  
  
"Sure. Let me get my boots."  
  
And off they were.  
  
"I don't like it when you go to school," Petunia said, nudging her horse into a light trot.  
  
"Why's that?"  
  
"Your just too damn far away from dad and me."  
  
"You know, you could stay with Auntie over Easter. That's where I'll be.if you go."  
  
See, Lily lived in America, for now, as her dad was always moving because of his job, but during the school year, and some of the summer, she always stayed with her aunt, who resided in England.  
  
"Come on Misty, we're going to race Peti." Lily loudly whispered to her horse, while glancing in Petunia's direction.  
  
With that, Lily shoved her ankles into the paint horse's side and off at a canter they were. Petunia took off soon and easily beat lily.  
  
"Sorry Lil. That's only because I ride so often."  
  
Laughing and joking, they rode all morning until it was time to go home.  
  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
  
I'm tired of typing.so I'll do a really short chapter really soon. I need to go practice my speech...  
  
But first I want to thank Kinelea for the review..I hope this chapter is better than the last..sorry about the fragmented story. I'm the worst person when it comes to proofreading my own stuff. And I think it is still kinda choppy  
  
Did anyone go to the car show? If you don't know what I'm talking about.then never mind..but I, unfortunately, missed it. ( But I'm hoping school will be canceled tomorrow..then I can write more. (  
  
-Glitterdust  
  
A/N: We had no school the past two days!!!!!!  
  
(Part of the last chapter):  
  
The few who stayed at Hogwarts were very surprised that Remus and Sirius had pulled no pranks whatsoever. What they didn't know was that these two boys were preoccupied.  
  
"Only five seconds this time, Sirius."  
  
"Argh. I want to get it so fast, that we can transform while running."  
  
"Okay, give it another try. Concentrate. I know you can do it."  
  
Sirius, giving Remus a your-loco-look, tried and tried again. It took lots of concentration.that he didn't have.  
  
@Flashback@  
  
*Cough, cough* "I can't breathe."  
  
"Aspiro!"  
  
"Remus! Remus! What is happening to you?"  
  
"I-" but Remus was cut off. He started transforming, and the four Marauders knew it wasn't supposed to happen like that.  
  
The moon wasn't out yet  
  
He looked in pain  
  
He was trying to talk  
  
He kept changing shape: from wolf to werewolf (yes there is a difference) to human.  
  
The boys started to freak out.  
  
"Damn, damn, damn."  
  
Every time Remus altered to his human form, he got out a few words:  
  
"It's the ag-"  
  
"The agnami-"  
  
"Potion don't"  
  
"Do not"  
  
"Not go for help!"  
  
"No help!"  
  
James was yelling, "Shit Remus, you could die! We need help!" But all Remus could understand or lack of, was incoherent jargon.  
  
All of a sudden, with a racing heart, Remus stayed a werewolf. He started to throw-up all his lunch. Excess amount of blood was hurled up; but apart from that, he was fine.  
  
@End Flashback@  
  
"I remember when the damn potion cause. severe. symptoms at your transformation."  
  
"yea, it was cool to transform into the wolf, though while it lasted before the next moon."  
  
"Would you do it again?" Sirius teased.  
  
"Hell no. It messed up my monthly transformations."  
  
"But don't you wish you could roam around school with us?" Sirius asked in an abnormally high voice.  
  
"Enough with 20 fucking questions."  
  
Wham! Remus bombarded pillows into his friend's face.  
  
"Whaft." Sirius exclaimed with a mouthful of feathers, "Isf tha?"  
  
"Mugglily impared."  
  
The boys snorted and carried on for the next hour.  
  
"Wish Peter and James were here."  
  
"We could pull pranks."  
  
"Shut-up they're probably having so much fun without us."  
  
"Oh yea. Loads. I'm sure." Sarcasm dripped. again.  
  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
  
*Only if I were at Hogwarts. I would be having so much fun.* James was clearly irritable.  
  
"Shut-up!"  
  
"What master?" Lightning questioned.  
  
"I'm tired of this. Can we go do something else?"  
  
The house elf was so astonished.  
  
"You want to help me? Do some of the decorating?"  
  
"Uh..Yea." Duh!  
  
So an hour later, that's how James found himself decorating.  
  
*If only I were at Hogwarts, I would be having so much fun.*  
  
James was glad of the learning-free atmosphere, but was disappointed to not be with his friends. *If only I were at Hogwarts, I would be having so much fun.*  
  
The same thoughts ran through his head all Christmas vacation.  
  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
  
A/N: This is like the funestestest chapter to write.  
  
Chapter (I don't know):  
  
School was back in session. Most children would have already had enough time to become homesick-if not for the charm placed on the school to prevent just that.  
  
"James Potter!"  
  
Lily voice swept through the halls, "You dumbass. Show yourself. Are you that freaked that your going to hide!"  
  
"No Sweetums," said a voice right behind her, in her room, "I was here all along." James exposed 'The Potter Grin.'  
  
Lily was so shocked that James was right behind her, that she fumed and couldn't stop stuttering, "Ummm. How how d-did you g-get there?"  
  
"My secret. And it wouldn't be if I told you..now would it?"  
  
"Shut-up!" Her voice raised an abnormally 3 octaves higher.  
  
"Sweetums, I was only answering your question."  
  
"Fix. My. Bed. Now."  
  
"Yeesh. You don't have to be all controlling and demanding."  
  
"I can be what I damn well please if you can put invisible spikes on my bed, without even caring about anyone besides yourself. How the hell am I suppose to sleep?"  
  
"Preferably like normal." James tested her attitude, running a hand through his disastrous hair.  
  
"Dip-shit. It's 1:30 in the morning! How am I supposed to sleep?"  
  
"Or maybe you should ask others that? You probably woke them with that screaming you did."  
  
"Probably. No, I put a silencing charm on the common room, except your dormitory," she answered respectively. (like the questions in order, not with respect)  
  
"Why me?"  
  
"Cause who else would torment me like this?"  
  
"It's cause I like you.." James responded with a little kid voice, "Will you be my valentine?"  
  
"If I said yes, one of us would commit suicide. Who first? I can't say," Lily said with attitude. Hey, give her a break..it's what? 1:30 in the morning?  
  
James undid the charm and turned to leave.  
  
"Not so fast, dumbass."  
  
With a flick of her wrist, a yellow light erupted from Lily's want. James ducked-but he wasn't fast enough. So much for quidditch reflexes.  
  
"What was that? I don't feel no different."  
  
"Any different," Lily corrected, "because-dumbass- it's a kissing charm."  
  
"You want me to kiss you? You should have just said so." James laughed, "If I would have known.."  
  
"No, save playing slobber hockey for somebody else. Oh wait. You can't. I just made you not be able to. With that charm. Such a lovely charm," Lily mused.  
  
"Thanks Evans. Your so emotionally supportive." He snickered and walked out the door, making sure it was open long enough to have the other Marauders escape out under the invisibility cloak.  
  
"James, what the fuck was that about?" Sirius questioned James when Remus and Peter had eventually fallen asleep.  
  
"You mean the charm? I found it in one of my father's restricted books over break." James beamed with pride, sitting up in bed.  
  
Sirius walked to James bed, getting eye level, and said, "No, she gave you a no-kissing charm. Like she knew you had been out snogging someone lately."  
  
"Oh," James started grinning, "A while back, I fed her some bullshit about getting whatever girl I wanted and being able to dump her in a week."  
  
"Way to impress a girl." Sirius had on one of his half amused, half disgusted looks again.  
  
True to his word, James could probably get a lot of girls, 7th years included.  
  
But he didn't.  
  
No, the Marauder's had an unspoken pact: they don't date, it will spilt up the group. So they didn't, but James liked to make people think he had gone out with tons of girls. Contrary to reality.  
  
Stupid Prongs. You know, that won't get you a girl.  
  
The Marauders-well Sirius- didn't like talking. You might call it bottling up inside, but he would rather think of it as more time to think. You know. Either that, or just he didn't want to talk to all the unintelligible people he was surrounded with everyday. Nobody knew, he didn't have a mind to tell anyone either. So with that in mind, note that the four friends don't usually talk about girls-much less date them.  
  
The boys figured if girls got in the way, their friendship is ruined, the girls are more important, and then secrets, and all the "male bonding" (or much as could be done) would be lost. Forever.  
  
So, just stay away from girls. Problem solved.  
  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
  
"You're a fucking loser, Potter."  
  
No. It wasn't Lily this time, "At least Lily is competent enough to put silencing charms on us all."  
  
Nabila and Nadalia, the rich twins, were trying to annoy James.  
  
But failing miserably.  
  
"Competent. Evans competent? Oh and being the way, you didn't use the word right, I would just stick to cussing if I was you."  
  
The girls just looked at James like he had grown an extra head.  
  
"Why don't you cuss? You're just as intelligent as them." Lily came up behind the threesome.  
  
"Because-if you must know, Evans- I'm not that inconsiderate. Not around girls." 'The Potter Trademark'-otherwise known as a smirk- appeared on James' face.  
  
Lily was so made at James from everything he had done to her, she was fuming.  
  
"Block-head."  
  
The twins didn't know who to be afraid of: James of Lily.  
  
Probably Lily. She just achieved making the saying 'grown two heads' a reality on her rival.  
  
Way to go Lily!  
  
Now people *can* look at him like he had an extra head.  
  
Oh look at that.  
  
The second head seems to be semi-reasonable, in Lily's eyes.  
  
"You can't do that. You can't be mean to a girl!"  
  
"Watch me!"  
  
"No Lily! He's going to hex you. The jelly legs curse."  
  
"Nice, smart one. You just gave her my plans."  
  
"Well it won't matter mow. She's left."  
  
"Your fault."  
  
Flump.  
  
James legs gave out. Everyone in the hallway laughed.  
  
"Hey, I resent that. I tried to walk!" One head's pride was ruined.  
  
"Well, I commanded my legs to stay put."  
  
"Now look what you did. We're on the floor."  
  
"At least your not going to hex the poor girl."  
  
"And she gave you to me. What a gift. I should stun her to the next galaxy."  
  
"You to me! And anyway, then you can't get her back if she is in the next galaxy."  
  
"And why would I even want her?"  
  
"She's the only person able to end the curse. Not that a poor-witted fellow like your would know that."  
  
Talk about double personalities.  
  
Dumbledore appeared in the middle of the Potter head's bickering.  
  
"Potter. And Potter. Come with me. I will sort this out."  
  
"Unlikley."  
  
"Shut-up. That's the headmaster."  
  
"Whatever. I refuse to communicate with you."  
  
"That's only because you're a wimp."  
  
"Am not!"  
  
"To much pride? Can you not take not talking to me?"  
  
Finally James and Dumbledore got to Lily. She, very reluctantly, took off the curse.  
  
*Stupid boy! Can't even contain his fighting. With himself.*  
  
Laughing, Lily proceeded to charms.  
  
Laughing Lily went to bed that night.  
  
Still laughing, Lily woke up.  
  
But she was choked by the sight before her once she stepped out of bed.  
  
*Dumbledore! I must get the headmaster. *  
  
A half hour later, Lily was calmed enough to finally walk. Shakily, she brought Dumbledore to her dorm room.  
  
"Oh." Dumbledore paled. Noticeably.  
  
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@  
  
You like?  
  
"There are three people in this world. Those that can count, and those that can't count." And three chapters in this chapter, for those who can't count...me!  
  
Twelve. My hand hurts, so I'm going to go.... 


End file.
